Thursday, June 16, 2011

39 weeks-Didn't think I'd see this day

So here I am, 39 weeks, one week from my due date.  This time with Peyton I was two weeks away from giving birth and had just stopped working.  With Sierra, I stopped working a week and a half ago and thought she would be born by now from all the signs (and so did both midwives I've seen in the last 2 weeks).  The only thing that is a constant at this point is that I'm extremely tired, am bored out of my head because of stopping working, but know I couldn't physically do it if I tried, am constantly fixated on when she'll decide to make her appearance, and I made my mom come early for nothing (well, not for nothing, she's had a great time with Peyton).  I have tried every wive's tale and natural trick for inducing labor, short of using castor oil, but I am a case study that shows that until the baby is ready, the baby won't come no matter what you do.

Last night was a full moon and I hoped that might trigger labor.  Nope.  Tomorrow I have a midwife appointment where I'll have my membranes stripped, a procedure I had done to try and entice Peyton out, but didn't work for him.  I'm hoping that sometime today contractions will start and I won't have to go to the appointment tomorrow.  It is so hard to be patient at this point when everything my body is doing is indicating she's ready except for actually having active contractions and having labor begin.  She's enormously active, stretching around in her cramped home, my GI system is a wreck, I am having lots of nights like last night where I just can't sleep for no apparent reason, I'm crampy, my low back is achy on and off, and I get nauseated and lightheaded on and off.  I'm so ready to just be sleep deprived.

So I'll continue to be fixated on every little cramp, every Braxton Hicks contraction.  I will continue to do my visual imagery of a smooth, beautiful delivery and the first time I will get to hold her in my arms and nurse our new little life.  I will continue to use some of the natural labor inducing techniques and walk, walk, walk because it makes me feel like I'm doing something.  And mostly, I will continue to let my love grow for our new little one and my family and try to not let frustration get the best of me.

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